Today's Epiphanies: Goldman Sachs' Executive Director, Greg Smith, Quits - Pat Robertson Endorses Legalisation of Marijuana

"Wake up Dorothy, the tornado's over", said Aunti Em to the American Public. And so today, with a sidebar in the New York Times that features the two most popular stories on Facebook, 'Trending' stories as they say, we are treated to two seeming epiphanies from the far right. 1) Resigning Executive Director Greg Smith in an NYT OpEd: "Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs" and 2) Leader of the Televangelist stalwart The 700 Club, 81 year-old Pat Robertson, with the NYT bullet: "Pat Robertson Says Marijuana Use Should Be Legal". Holy shit Tin Man, it seems we have all just woken up from a terrible dystopian nightmare - and are now what? Free? Nah, it's not that good yet, but these two stories are a helluva start for an otherwise slow news day in New York.

Victor Kerlow

Smith begins his revelation with this striking moment of clarity: "TODAY is my last day at Goldman Sachs. After almost 12 years at the firm — I believe I have worked here long enough to understand the trajectory of its culture, its people and its identity. And I can honestly say that the environment now is as toxic and destructive as I have ever seen it." 

Boy howdy, Scarecrow, I believe you have seen the light! But TheDailyMash in London takes things even a shade more truthful in its parody resignation letter from Darth Vader to the Empire. "The firm has veered so far from the place I joined right out of Yoda College", states Vader, " that I can no longer in good conscience point menacingly and say that I identify with what it stands for." Hilarious, but more patently heartfelt than anything in Smith's confession of conscience. I mean, really, where in the fuck did he think he was working for the past twelve years? Oz?

Conversely, on the other side of the right, as if it had two sides, Pat Robertson, a five-decade evangelical leader and outspoken voice of his own moral minority, the Christian Boadcasting Network has come out in favour of the legalisation of Marijuana. “I really believe we should treat marijuana the way we treat beverage alcohol,” Mr. Robertson said, "I think: this war on drugs just hasn’t succeeded.” And his comments come as music to the ears of many whom have argued that drug laws unfairly attack young minorities. “It’s completely out of control,” he continues. “Prisons are being overcrowded with juvenile offenders having to do with drugs. And the penalties, the maximums, some of them could get 10 years for possession of a joint of marijuana. It makes no sense at all.”

So imagine if you will, that we all woke up one day and everything was fine in Kansas, or Tokyo or dare we say, New York and we could go about our daily business with less fear and a whole lot more hope about the world in general - but oh no.

No high profile resignation from the evil empire that is Goldman Sachs would be complete without a rebuttal from the head Satans named in Mr. Smith's letter. "Our firm has had its share of challenges during and after the financial crisis, but your pride in Goldman Sachs is clear. You’ve not only told us, you have told external surveys", they state, writing to clients to control damage, citing an 89% approval rating from clients and employees. Hmm. Denial. That's a tough one. If I had Goldman Sachs on my couch today I could only advise that maybe they click the red slippers together twice, call Pat Robertson and smoke a joint. Maybe then things would be alright.